About Me

On June 6, 2024, I had the opportunity to attend the annual Presidential Retreat for the Seed Coalition of which I am a board member representing the non-profit community. I found myself in a room with Presidents of higher learning institutions learning about effective communication and the importance of language. Throughout the presentation and discussion forums, I reflected on the learnings surrounding communication I have learned throughout this course and overall program. Although I have learned a lot about effective communication and garnered skills in communicating, I had not considered the importance of balancing language in effective communication. By pairing together my takeaways from the retreat and the learnings throughout this course, I believe that effective communication is a balance of language connection, direct and constructive conversations, and alignment of purpose.

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In 2021 Philanthropy for Active Civic Engagement (PACE) conducted the Civic Language Perceptions Project to determine how language is perceived and impacts civic engagement across America. PACE surveyed 5,000 registered US voters regarding their negative and positive perception of democracy terms, civic engagement terms, and racial equity terms. Through their research, they determined the top two reasons people feel positive towards a term in those categories are their personal values and their feelings about the future. They also determined the top two reasons people feel negative towards a term is due to politicians’ portrayal of the term and their feelings about the future (PACE, 2024). This data led me to be more considerate about the language I am using to be more of an effective communicator. Recently when providing a staff member feedback, I intentionally referred to gossip as unproductive conversation as there are many negative emotions tied to the word gossip. This allowed a more positive conversation surrounding a difficult topic.

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Through the case consultation experience I had the opportunity to home in on the importance of direct and constructive communication. My key takeaway from the case consultation process was the ability to use this technique to gain new perspectives and diagnosis on a difficult situation. This technique could be used to diagnosis an adaptive challenge such as determining the best way to handle a staff conflict. It could also be used to solve a technical issue such as developing a new policy for the employee handbook. Although I see this process being more beneficial and suited for an adaptive challenge, I have found using pieces of this to be beneficial when discussing technical challenges.

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I have implemented the case consultation process with a member of the senior leadership team at Willis Dady, and we had a productive meeting to brainstorm a solution to an adaptive challenge on her team. She was willing to go through the case consultation process to try and find solutions together, therefore, she was the case presenter. She walked me through the adaptive challenge she was trying to solve regarding distrust between her outreach staff and a partner agency. After she provided me an overview of the issue, clarified the stakeholders, and shared what she has tried already, I was able to gather additional information. After I asked additional questions to gather data and clarify how she reflects on the issue now, I provided a diagnostic brainstorming and action. Through reflection and time on the balcony, she now has two next steps to rebuild trust between her team and the partner agency.

The Style Under Stress assessment is another way that I have learned the importance of direct and constructive communication. I scored a 3 out of 6 in how often I move towards silence, and a 2 out of 6 in how often I move towards violence through the assessment. I believe my two silent responses are to avoid and to withdraw from uncomfortable situations or disagreements. I can identify many times that I have avoided having uncomfortable conversations with individuals or groups. Interestingly, my top personality type according to the Enneagram is a type 8, which are generally “assertive and passionate about life, meeting it head on with self-confidence and strength” (The Enneagram Institute, 2003). Although these seem to be conflicting ways to handle conflict or stress, I also believe both are accurate assessments and have common connections and themes.

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Being aware of my Style Under Stress results, has allowed me to go back to the personality assessments from course 1 to build more positive responses to conflict and communication. Under high levels of stress, type 8 within the Enneagram “may suddenly switch tactics and go into periods of retreat or even isolation” (The Enneagram Institute, 2003), which aligns with my Style Under Stress scores. Instead of seeing this as a negative response to stress and uncomfortable situations, I have found there to be positive traits to silence. By silence being an optional response to stress, I can reflect on the situation at hand and strategize the best possible solution or response to the stressful situation. I also directly communicate with others involved that I need to step back from the issue and return later when I’ve been able to debrief. This has allowed open and direct communication of my needs with others, as well as directly communicating next steps towards a solution.

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Through the Style Under Stress assessment, I was able to identify my tendency to turn to violence during a stressful or uncomfortable situation. Handling conflict with a violent response such as attacking or controlling does not create constructive communication. In the video, How to Speak Like a Leader at Work (2021), Kara Ronin shares three tips on how to effectively communicate as a leader. She shares the importance of being okay with a disagreement. “People hired you because they want to know what you think, they want to know what your opinion is…if you disagree with people make your voice heard” (Ronin, 2021, 2:12). This statement reiterates the importance of constructively communicating during a disagreement instead of turning to violence. Through professionally disagreeing and moving forward, the communication remains direct and constructive.

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I have also enhanced my skills in driving solution focused conversation to ensure constructive communication. To do this, I need to ensure I am present and hearing what is said and not only thinking about how I want to respond. I also work with the team to find solutions and make decisions. According to an article by Zulch (2014) regarding communication in project management, leadership is a communication skill, and communication is a leadership skill. Zulch writes, “good communication skills enable, foster, and create the understanding and trust necessary to encourage others to follow a leader” (Zulch, 2014, p. 177). Through constructive communication, I can foster trust within the individual I am communicating with and build a positive and productive relationship with them.

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Purpose alignment is another important factor in effective communication that I have built on throughout this course. Through my relationship with my mentor for my action research project, we have maintained solution focused conversations through the implementation of our hot button topics. Zachary & Fischler describe hot buttons as “things that irk us and make us react negatively to situations” (Zachary & Fischler, 2009, p.69). Jennifer and I have been able to identify coming unprepared to meetings, interfacing primarily via technology, not assuming positive intent during conversations, and saying no to an idea before sitting in reflection with it as our hot buttons. We have reconnected after a 2-month hiatus, and determined these are still hot button issues, and added not being solution focused as a final issue to add to our hot buttons. By Jennifer and I identifying our hot button topics, we are effectively aligning our purpose within communication.

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Purpose alignment in communication has been a priority for my communication style within my role at Willis Dady within the last quarter. Brene Brown shares regarding shared purpose in Daring to Lead as “taking the time to explain the ‘why’ behind strategies, and how tasks link to ongoing priorities and mission work” (Brown, 2018, p. 100). Not only have I implemented clear purpose alignment with strategies and tasks, but also in effectively communicating. Recently, I had to inform a manager than after conducting a salary base test to ensure alignment with the new federal employment law regarding overtime, that she does not qualify as an exempt employee and will be moved to an hourly employee. I prefaced the meeting with clearly stating the purpose of the meeting was to discuss her eligibility as an exempt employee based on her job duties. This allowed her and I to understand why we were meeting and what would be discussed throughout the conversation.

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This approach aligns with Troxel’s (2002) description of adaptive inquiry, as he states that adaptive inquiry uses “understanding through empathy” and involves direct interaction with an organization (Troxel, 2002, p. 2). Troxel also believes “what you see is what you will work toward manifesting” (Troxel, 2002, p. 4). By reflecting my belief of direct and constructive communication and alignment of purpose through all communication, staff will mimic that behavior and manifest that behavior. This will ensure communication is aligned within the organization and will limit the conflict due to ineffective communication.

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Through the learnings and takeaways in this course as described throughout this integrative essay, I have had the opportunity to discern that effective communication is a balance of language connection, direct and constructive conversations, and alignment of purpose.

 

References:

Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts. Random House.

Enneagram Institute. (2003). Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI v2.5). The Enneagram Institute.

https://tests.enneagraminstitute.com

Philanthropy for Active Civic Engagement. (2024). Civic Language Perceptions Project [Unpublished powerpoint] Philanthropy for

Active Civic Engagement.

Ronin, K. (2021). "How to speak like a leader at work: 3 communication strategies leaders use." YouTube, uploaded by Kara Ronin, 31

March 2021. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xu7zRaJUjE.

Troxel, J. (2002). Appreciative inquiry: An action research method for organizational transformation and its implications to the practice

of group process facilitation. [Unpublished paper] Millennia Consulting, LLC.

Zachary, L. J., & Fischler, L. A. (2009). The Mentee’s guide making mentoring work for you. Jossey-Bass.

Zulch, B. (2014). Leadership communication in project management. Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences, 119, 172–181.

https://doi.org/10.1016.j.sbspro.2014.03.021